“What’s an orgasm?” my nine-year-old self asked curiously, wide-eyed, and completely ignorant of what I had just asked my fourth grade teacher to explain to me in front of the entire class. You’re in masturbation, talking about masturbation, touching yourself, jerking off, and choking the chicken.
I used to read everything I could get my hands on as a child, and one day I snuck a copy of my older sister’s Cosmopolitan magazine. In it, I came across the word “orgasm,” which I had been dying to know the meaning of. The best person to ask is a teacher.
The class went completely silent. I don’t recall my teacher’s response, but I do recall the hesitant shuffle and whispered murmurs that took place among the other teachers as they searched for an honest and fitting solution to my query. Unbeknownst to me, this experience set the stage for a long battle with the biassed, perplexing, and occasionally outright false information provided to me by teachers in public schools.
Knowing your body involves more than just having sex. It has to do with your sense of identity, your body image, and your sense of self-worth.
Sex Has Benefits Beyond STDs and Pregnancy
The focus of sex education in high school was on the negative outcomes of having sex. As a sophomore in high school, I was sexually inactive and wore a purity ring, but I still questioned why I wasn’t being told that sex might lead to positive outcomes. Although it’s crucial to understand the effects of unprotected sex, sexually transmitted infections, STDs, and unintended pregnancy, is that all there is to sex? If not, why isn’t it brought up in the classroom? All of my attempts to elicit responses to these questions and steer the class into a more enlightening conversation about sex were rebuffed.
Fortunately, I had some wonderful people in my life who guided me away from the dull, textbook definitions of sex and body image. As I approached my junior year, I finally felt that I understood that perhaps there was a lot more to sex education—and even my own sexuality—than I had realised. This understanding came from participating in workshops where I heard personal stories from girls who were similarly perplexed about what they were being taught in school as I was.
Getting Closer to My Body
I started my freshman year of college with the “proper” perspectives on sex and relationships in mind. One afternoon, I was conversing with a group of pals in the dorm room of my college. We began by discussing the standard topics of our sexual behaviour, both past and present. Some women had never slept with a girl before. Some ladies had committed relationships with whom they engaged in sexual activity, while others, like me, were single and simply fascinated about all the ideas and precepts associated with sex. We didn’t know our bodies or what we enjoyed well enough to constantly find pleasure in intercourse or simply masturbating, despite the fact that our circumstances varied as we talked. Yet why?
When I recalled a terrific sex educator-led session I had taken part in a few years prior, I was able to come up with the solution. Sex, according to her, is natural.She claimed that having sex is normal and that in order to better understand how our bodies work, we should examine them. She even advised using a mirror to examine our vulvae. This instruction was both alarming and comforting to many of the girls who had no idea what their genitals actually looked like beyond the generic images they had read in biology. On the one hand, I wondered who this person was and why she recommended that we visit these locations. No one else had ever pushed us to do that. On the other hand, she had inspired us to consider sex in a fresh, personal perspective. That instructor provided sound advise for any female or guy who wants to have enjoyable physical experiences, but I wasn’t aware of it at the time.I didn’t realise it at the time, but the instructor gave sound advise to any girl or male who wants to have enjoyable sexual experiences outside of the bedroom: learn about your body’s structure and functioning!
I can say with confidence that looking at and researching various aspects of your body helps increase your confidence and helps to reduce the worry of exploring your sexuality with a partner now that I know more about it and have heard other females my age talk about it. Finally, getting to know your body extends beyond sexual activity. It has to do with your sense of identity, your body image, and your sense of self-worth.So, as a wise woman once advised, look in the mirror! A little extra information is never a bad thing.
By Niomi Murphy
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